1. Ignoring

2. Pretend listening (patronizing)

3. Selective listening

4. Attentive listening

5. Sympathetic Listening

6. Empathic listening

7. Third party listening

In number 1,2,3&4: the listening happens within one’s own frame of reference.

But in number 5&6&7, the listening happens within others frame of reference, so the listener has developed the skill to truly listen, reaching to these levels are very difficult and rare ones.

Therefore, for skilled and competent lawyers the development of their listening skills to 5,6&7 levels is paramount to their work.

In order to be a competent and highly skilled listener, you should learn and practice the following steps:

Firstly, practice to avoid the following:

1. Transcend your own autobiography
2. Ignore and disregard your frame of reference
3. Ignore and disregard your value system
4. Ignore and disregard your own historical and cultural and religious views
5. Ignore and disregard your judgmental tendencies and pre-judgmental bias

Secondly: Practice to incorporate this to your listening skills:

1. Attempt to deeply understand and adopt the frame of reference of others & then
2. Adopt their view point correctly and respond accordingly

For the above elements to be achieved you need to pay attention to body language, intonation, pitch, emotive language, anger, happiness, satisfaction, approval, disapproval, agreement, disagreement, profession, social class, educational level, age, sex, culture, background and biography, life style, … (as much as possible and necessary) signs that gives out clues while listening.

To be continued